diff --git a/e2e/fixtures.js b/e2e/fixtures.js
index 5cec0802..2bd2a368 100644
--- a/e2e/fixtures.js
+++ b/e2e/fixtures.js
@@ -85,6 +85,21 @@ async function loginAs(context, request, email = TEST_EMAIL) {
   }]);
 }
 
+// A '**/api/x' glob stopped matching any URL when Playwright went to 1.50, and
+// page.route fails silently: no error, no warning, the request simply goes to
+// the server. So every "mocked" AI test was calling the real model and
+// comparing its genuine output against a canned string — spending real credits
+// on every run and failing for a reason that looked like a UI bug. Measured:
+// against http://127.0.0.1:3553/api/health, '**/api/health' and '*/**/api/health'
+// both matched zero times; a regex matched.
+//
+// The patterns are kept as strings because they are also the keys callers pass
+// in `overrides`, and turned into anchored regexes here.
+function asMatcher(pattern) {
+  const path = pattern.replace(/^\*\*/, '');
+  return new RegExp(path.replace(/[.*+?^${}()|[\]\\]/g, '\\$&') + '(?:[?#]|$)');
+}
+
 // ── AI mock — intercepts generation endpoints ──────────────
 // Canned response shape matches what each route's frontend expects.
 // Override per-test by passing {pattern: responseFn} in overrides.
@@ -111,7 +126,7 @@ async function mockAI(page, overrides = {}) {
 
   for (const { pattern, response } of routes) {
     const override = overrides[pattern];
-    await page.route(pattern, async route => {
+    await page.route(asMatcher(pattern), async route => {
       const resp = typeof override === 'function' ? await override(route.request()) : (override || response);
       await route.fulfill({ status: 200, contentType: 'application/json', body: JSON.stringify(resp) });
     });
diff --git a/e2e/playwright.config.js b/e2e/playwright.config.js
index 9fafb833..02d16a79 100644
--- a/e2e/playwright.config.js
+++ b/e2e/playwright.config.js
@@ -28,6 +28,12 @@ module.exports = defineConfig({
   reporter: [['list']],
   use: {
     baseURL: process.env.BASE_URL || 'http://127.0.0.1:3553',
+    // The app registers a service worker that answers every /api/ request with
+    // its own fetch(). A request made inside a service worker never reaches
+    // page.route, so mockAI could not intercept anything while one was running
+    // and the tests called the real model. Blocking registration puts the
+    // requests back in the page, where the mocks can see them.
+    serviceWorkers: 'block',
     trace: 'retain-on-failure',
     screenshot: 'only-on-failure',
     actionTimeout: 5_000,
diff --git a/e2e/tests/settings-faq-dictation.spec.js b/e2e/tests/settings-faq-dictation.spec.js
index e86366c9..fe216d04 100644
--- a/e2e/tests/settings-faq-dictation.spec.js
+++ b/e2e/tests/settings-faq-dictation.spec.js
@@ -5,6 +5,12 @@
 
 const { test, expect, E2E_BASE, mockAI } = require('../fixtures');
 
+// Settings and FAQ are not on the tab rail. They live in the account-card menu
+// alongside Admin, and this helper used to click button.tab-btn[data-tab=…] for
+// them, which simply timed out — the cause of ten of these failures. Dictation
+// really is a rail tab, so both routes are needed.
+const ACCOUNT_MENU = ['settings', 'faq'];
+
 async function openTab(page, name) {
   await page.goto(E2E_BASE + '/');
   await page.waitForSelector('button.tab-btn', { timeout: 15000 });
@@ -12,7 +18,12 @@ async function openTab(page, name) {
   if (vp && vp.width <= 768) {
     await page.click('#btn-menu-toggle').catch(() => {});
   }
-  await page.click(`button.tab-btn[data-tab="${name}"]`);
+  if (ACCOUNT_MENU.includes(name)) {
+    await page.locator('.account-card-btn').first().click();
+    await page.locator(`[data-account-tab="${name}"]`).first().click();
+  } else {
+    await page.click(`button.tab-btn[data-tab="${name}"]`);
+  }
   await page.waitForFunction((t) => {
     const el = document.getElementById(t + '-tab');
     return el && el.classList.contains('active') && el.innerHTML.trim().length > 100;
diff --git a/public/e2e-harness.html b/public/e2e-harness.html
index 6fc88b4a..b268ad9a 100644
--- a/public/e2e-harness.html
+++ b/public/e2e-harness.html
@@ -20,9 +20,17 @@
        calc-nav-pill (which no longer exists). -->
   <section id="bedside-tab" class="tab-content active" data-component="bedside"></section>
 
+  <!-- calculators.js and drugs-loader.js are ES modules and must be loaded as
+       modules. Loaded with `defer` instead, the browser parses them as classic
+       scripts, throws "Cannot use import statement outside a module" before a
+       single line runs, and no click handler is ever attached: the pills render
+       from static HTML and do nothing. index.html has always had this right;
+       this page was left behind when the calculators were split into modules,
+       which is what 52 of the e2e failures were. Keep these in step with
+       index.html. -->
   <script defer src="/js/calc-math.js"></script>
-  <script defer src="/js/drugs-loader.js"></script>
-  <script defer src="/js/calculators.js"></script>
+  <script type="module" src="/js/drugs-loader.js"></script>
+  <script type="module" src="/js/calculators.js"></script>
   <script type="module" src="/js/bedside/index.js"></script>
   <script defer src="/js/e2e-bootstrap.js"></script>
 
diff --git a/test/e2e-harness.test.js b/test/e2e-harness.test.js
index bedde3c6..581e43ae 100644
--- a/test/e2e-harness.test.js
+++ b/test/e2e-harness.test.js
@@ -58,3 +58,49 @@ test('the e2e accounts are seeded, and the seed cannot touch a real one', () =>
   // And the runner seeds before it tests, so nobody has to remember to.
   assert.match(read('scripts/e2e.sh'), /node e2e\/seed\.js/);
 });
+
+test('the harness loads the calculators the way the app does', () => {
+  // calculators.js and drugs-loader.js are ES modules. Loaded with `defer` they
+  // are parsed as classic scripts and throw "Cannot use import statement outside
+  // a module" before a line runs, so no click handler is ever attached: the
+  // pills render from static HTML and do nothing. Measured in the browser, and
+  // it was 52 of the 96 e2e failures. Only the first calculator "passed",
+  // because it carries `active` in the markup and needs no click.
+  const harness = read('public/e2e-harness.html');
+  const app = read('public/index.html');
+  for (const file of ['calculators.js', 'drugs-loader.js']) {
+    const inApp = new RegExp('<script type="module" src="/js/' + file.replace('.', '\\.') + '"');
+    assert.match(app, inApp, file + ' is a module in the app');
+    assert.match(harness, inApp, 'so the harness must load it the same way');
+  }
+  assert.doesNotMatch(harness, /<script defer src="\/js\/(calculators|drugs-loader)\.js"/);
+});
+
+test('the AI mocks actually intercept, rather than calling the real model', () => {
+  const fixtures = read('e2e/fixtures.js');
+  // Two separate reasons the mocks were silently doing nothing, both measured.
+  //
+  // One: a '**/api/x' glob matches no URL on Playwright 1.50, and page.route
+  // fails silently when nothing matches.
+  assert.match(fixtures, /function asMatcher\(pattern\)/);
+  assert.match(fixtures, /await page\.route\(asMatcher\(pattern\)/);
+
+  // Two: the app registers a service worker that answers every /api/ request
+  // with its own fetch(), and a request made inside a service worker never
+  // reaches page.route. Blocking registration puts them back in the page.
+  assert.match(read('public/sw.js'), /url\.pathname\.startsWith\('\/api\/'\)/,
+    'if the worker stops handling /api this guard can be revisited');
+  assert.match(read('e2e/playwright.config.js'), /serviceWorkers: 'block'/);
+});
+
+test('Settings and FAQ are opened the way the app actually offers them', () => {
+  // Neither is on the tab rail; both live in the account-card menu with Admin.
+  const index = read('public/index.html');
+  for (const name of ['settings', 'faq']) {
+    assert.doesNotMatch(index, new RegExp('data-tab="' + name + '"'), name + ' is not a rail tab');
+    assert.match(index, new RegExp('data-account-tab="' + name + '"'));
+  }
+  const spec = read('e2e/tests/settings-faq-dictation.spec.js');
+  assert.match(spec, /const ACCOUNT_MENU = \['settings', 'faq'\];/);
+  assert.match(spec, /\[data-account-tab="\$\{name\}"\]/);
+});